Thursday, March 11, 2010


Hrrm, it would appear I’ve been out of the writing mood for a while. Have no fear though, my fearless readers and searchers of truth! Yes, I’m talking to both of you! I’m back and angrier than ever. Why, you ask? News that isn’t news, global warming, and my inability to be hired anywhere are just the tip of the iceberg. And you know what? I think I see The Titanic on the horizon. *swoons* Ah, Leo! But no, really Leo, you should play Leon S. Kennedy in a future Resident Evil film.
Now after so long an absence from this rant you may be wondering, just WHAT I intend to start off with, other than my opening wit, of course. Well, how about I start with Global Warming. Simply for the fact it’s been getting to me lately. Not Global Warming itself, mind you. The fact that people think it’s a legitimate crisis. How high and mighty have people become that they really believe that anything they do will damage the earth in the long term? If you research and look around, the Earth had warmed up like this before. Long before our existence this orb was gracing the heavens with it’s presence. And you know something? Long after we’re gone, victims of our own greed and violent tendencies no doubt, this planet will still be here in all of it’s glory. Las Vegas will become a desert, Philadelphia will be a lush green forest and everything we’ve spent lifetime upon lifetime creating will be swallowed whole by the very land that was pushed aside for it’s creation. Lesson: Have a slice of Humble Pie.
Next up on the agenda, I want to address the news industry as a whole. CNN, Local News, Fox, Oh, especially those bastards at Fox are all to blame. How is it, for two weeks before I go without TV or internet for a month, I hear about Tiger Woods and a possible sex scandal and then I come back to find out that Tiger Woods has apparently gotten as much, if not more, airtime that the September 11th terrorist attacks? There are new exciting things happening every day and the entire news industry would rather report on a man’s personal life than something important and thought provoking. How do we let these things go by unnoticed? I blame people, really. They’ve stopped caring about the though provoking news. News is a subscriber-based industry. If people aren’t watching then what’s the point of putting it out, right? And thanks to TLC, MTV, and VH1 and their reality shows the current generation has become so engrossed with the lives of others that they would probably change the channel if the announcement “And that was Miley Cyrus’s testimony on the matter. Next up, ‘A Cure for AIDS’.” Come over their speakers. They just don’t care anymore. Lesson: Avoid fame like the plague.
On a different note, I really have had no luck getting a job. I am however planning to go to college for my English major and see where I can go from there. Lesson: “The Job Market” is a fictional thing of the past that many still try to cling to. The only way to really get a good job anymore is a degree/certification/sucking a dick.
Well, that’s it for now I suppose. I really want to take a nap right now, so that’s what I’ll do. Until next time, then.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Fuck you...

This is a message to all major news broadcast corporations. CNN, Fox, Especially Fox, Basically anyone who still cares about the Tiger Woods shit or that did to begin with, and last but not least did I mention Fox?

that is all.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

One little, Two little, Three little whores~...

Well, hot damn, it has been a while since I’ve posted anything hasn’t it? Well, I’ve been relatively, and I say this with that grain of salt I talk about, happy. That is, with things outside my personal life, which I made a promise to leave out. But in a conversation with a friend I had an epiphany and realized I could generalize what’s been pissing me off lately into a much broader spectrum: Children and the rise in the amount of dumb whores who have them.
See, I’m all for someone who’s talked about it having kids. Chances are they’re financially stable and are in a more than fleeting relationship. They’re the smart people who make sure that a kid is something they want and can provide for. What I can’t stomach is these dumb whores who don’t know what a condom is, either before, during, or after their senior year of high school, having kids. Not only are they bringing a little demon spawn into this world without being prepared, but they’re dragging family down with them.
I’ve never attested to liking small children. Yes, they’re cute at times. But when they’re not cute they’re usual throwing their toys (in the case of multiple children, usually at their siblings faces), demanding you give them cookies for breakfast instead of cereal (then throwing said cereal, bowl and all, on to the ground in protest), Or, and this is something I’ve experienced a while back, sneaking wafer cookies and peanuts out of the kitchen cupboard and eating only a few. Not because they’re full mind you. No, because they’ve crushed the rest and rubbed them into the carpet of your nice steps/living room. Demons, people, demons who, under the wrong guidance, will only grow to be even worse.
But as they grow it becomes less and less their fault and more and more the fault of the bumbling idiots that birthed them. These dumb whores who don’t know how to prevent a hangnail let alone pregnancy getting knocked up by the guy they think is “The One”. Sure, at first he’ll stay around, maybe. Those are the one’s who try to be responsible. But about 4/10 of those guys are going to run for the hills about three months in when your preg-cunt hormonal ass gets more pissy than usual and starts screaming one second, laughing the next, then having a mental breakdown and crying rivers only seconds later.
If you got one that stayed the whole term and then some? Good for you. But do me a favor here, assume that you have one of those six of ten guys. Now divide your odds by half. You now have to deal with the fact that he may have just been trying to save his life from your shotgun wielding father. Then you realize a few years (I’m being nice here) later that he hates your guts because you wouldn’t have the abortion and you “ruined his life”. Still “The one” ladies? You’ve got better chances of him being Neo at this point.
Ah, for the last group now. Congratulations! You’ve survived pregnancy and a marriage shortly after. Your kid is five years old or so, playing outside your trailer with the other kids in the trailer park, having competitions over who’s got more cockroaches in their “house” (cause lets face it, when it’s all you’ve ever known, a trailer might as well be a house) and who’s gonna get that new toy for Christmas. Yeah, nevermind that his new coat was actually bought by his grandmother because she couldn’t stand to see him in the same, old, ripped, jacket another winter. Congratulations, you’ve succeeded in living a sub-par life due to your own stupidity.
Still think keeping it was a good idea? I’m not even suggesting abortion. That’s a very personal choice that I would never even dream of infringing on. But if you don’t want to abort it (Usual a move taken by those of religious views) maybe try putting it up for adoption. Not that I really support that option either. It’s overused by your type. You spend a few years recycling and donating money to less fortunate children and those in adoption agencies, then you get pregnant and throw another kid into a less than fortunate situation.
My verdict? Use some kind of birth control and a condom. Hell, maybe even a few other methods. Just to make sure. I hate children, but children born of stupid parents are likely to be just as stupid and all the more irritating for it. If you’re going to reproduce and add to the cesspool that is humanity, please make it a well thought out and calculated decision. Cause c’mon, I’m sure you don’t wanna hear this shit again, amirite?

Friday, November 13, 2009


I hope this doesnt end up just being my weekly rant, as you know I like to rant. Also, this doesn't follow the usual format of a review of the weeks events that caught my attention. But I felt strongly about this. It actually could even be seen to stem from last weeks rant involving Whale Wars. Extremists, to start off. As you can obviously tell I am all about being passionate about something. But I only complain about it. These (and I thank Stephen Colbert for this) "self-deluding nutjobs" are so passionate about something, most commonly animals, and decide that their going to stop eating meat, recycle without fail, and pull a maneuver common of near all extremists, try to force their ideals on you and convince you that you're horrible for eating that meaty, juicy, delectible hamburger because some cow had to die.Listen, fuckheads, I've long had an opinion that this is really counterproductive to your cause.My logic, you ask? For one, cows, chickens, and other livestock food animals are not endangered. Their deaths for our nutrition has no significant impact on the ecosystem. Also, you all complain of how the animals are treated horribly. If you were anything more than mindless PETA slaves youd know that there are laws in place that require that the livestock be treated with decency. If slaughterhouse's are found to be mistreatign livestock they are shut down. Congratulations, I've just ruined your greatest reason for not eating meat and now I'm on to your role model group: PETA. Again, you're extremism leaves you blind to the truth. If you do some research you'll find that PETA not only uses misinformation to mislead you to follow their will, but very few pet animals in their care ever see a new home. A large majority of them are euthanized to make more room. Instead of supporting these faceless organizations why not go spend 70 or so dollars to have you pet spayed or neutered. And while you're at it, do the same for yourself. I'd rather someone who doesn't bother asking questions and doing legitimate research doesn't reproduce. If you want to help the animal kingdom take some tips from the incredible woman that is Jane Goodall. Now on to another group that's recently caught my attention and deserves to be here, as well as my weekly rant, but I digress. The Facebook group "Check Your Info". Again, its a good cause with completely arrogant self-loving (semi)extremists at the helm. They find Facebook groups without an administrator through Google and, through a loophole in the Group system on Facebook, take the open spot as the new admin. As some might know, the admin has the ability to see the information of all group members as well as change any details about the group. "Check Your Info"'s goal? To inform people that they should be careful with what groups they join and what they put on their profiles. Oh, gee, this seems so familiar. Maybe it's because it's the same message that's been repeated over and over since the dawn of social networking sites, if not the internet. I sent "Check Your Info" an email, calmly informing them how angry their self-importance angered me. I informed them that it was less than modest that they thought just because they pull some slick stunt on Facebook that the message will finally sink in and people will start being careful on the internet. That led to my next point. You can inform people how to behave properly and guard their information but you can never teach common sense. There will always be people on the internet giving out every bit of information about themselves except, sometimes, their social security numbers and posting bulletins/blogs/status updates about how high/wasted they got at that party last night. And lets not forget the pictures of said events. No. Sorry, "Check Your Info", but as a group and as individuals you're not special and even though you may make a small number of people change their wicked reckless ways you'll not succeed in your ultimate goal. Nor will you ever. The same goes for enviromental extremists. Why? People dont take you seriously. They laugh at you, make jokes behind your back, and ignore your endless rambling on your cause's behalf. So, I'm off to make a hamburger. Don't post any important information while Im gone. And a quick note on a personal "win". I was watching a Miracle Whip commercial and they said "You cannot mute us." I didnt hear the rest of the commercial because I took this as a personal challenge and muted my television. Me = 1 Miracle Whip = 0.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Ok fellow thinkers, I promised something for you to help catch up. I asked a very good friend of mine to contribute in an effort to help me achieve this.

Go there. He may not be as wordy as I, but the veracity and rage is there. And he's the apathetic one.

Friday, November 6, 2009

In This Ugly World, We Don't Deserve To Be Sane.

I, surprisingly, must give credit to South Park for the beginning of this rather late rant. Remember the show Whale Wars? I watched an episode or two when I was down in Virginia with my girlfriend at the time. You know what my first thought was? "These assholes think they're pirates?!" Honestly, in 10 minutes I came up with a plan to sneak up on the whaling ships, board silently, and, with a silenced 9mm or .45 take out the crew, member by member. The last survivor? He'd get the damned harpoon. Don't mistake me for an environmentalist though. I mean, the environment is important and everything and we need a stable ecosystem to survive but I don't make a point to give much a shit about what someone's doing if I'm not given a pressing reason to. I should rephrase that I do give a shit. I'm just not gonna do anything but bitch. Kinda like my mom does when something pisses her off. Stands there, looking at it, bitching at me to fix it. ($300-$500, another person to board the ship with me, and a activist with a small boat and the whaling would stop assholes!) Before I continue, I suppose I should apologize. The rant's late. Very late. And I owe you, my dear readers, an explanation. Saturday, as we all know was Halloween. That had me rather busy with cleaning and preparing for the candy-grubbers. Sunday, I had to attend a surprise party for my aunt as she's recently turned the big five-oh. Monday, of that bastard of a day, I had to wake up at 8AM and sit in a car for three hours before waiting two more hours in the waiting room of a dentist's office. Know what I was there for? Two god-forsaken root canals. Not the most sanitary of offices either. Anywho, Ive been on vicodin and penicillin since due to the one tooth getting an infection. And so here I am, readers, ya know the three or four of you who care enough to read my bitching. The infection is on it's way out and I'm on my way back into the mainstream. I cant promise a decent rant tomorrow, obviously, but I will put something up. At the very least, next Saturday you can expect me to be back and in top form once more. You know what, this all reminds me. The dentists that my mom's work sponsored insurance cover are really quite horrible. The normal dentist (45 minutes away) has done nothing but put me in a constant state of pain and misery as well as make my teeth jagged and sharp. (I cut my tongue alot anymore) The endodontist I saw Monday? Yeah, infections are supposed to rarely happen and my sister and I both have them. Congratulations assholes, you fail miserably. But hey, at least they get paid for it, right? I think I get lost in how long these rants actually are. I take 20-30 minutes to type them up (apparently, my friend couldn't do it in an hour) and on Word Pad 'cause I'm too lazy to install Microsoft Office/Word. Go figure. I really don't wanna see any TL;DR's in the comments. Actually, nevermind, If it means comments I'll deal with the ignorance. I'm gonna stop soon as I've work to do before I get company and I don't want company in a messy house. But before I go, I'm making record now. If I ever become a successful journalist my mom gets no credit in my cultivation as "someone who was there for me and really encouraged me." She occasionally does but it's shortly replaced by comparing me to scum, telling me I'm worthless, and that I'm the source of all of her stress. I digress though. I promised not to bitch too much of my personal life didn't I? Also, 20 internetz to the first person to provide me with downloads of Metro Riots songs. 50 internetz if you post a comment declaring what was important about the 5th of November (Yesterday).

-- Your lord and master.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Dont Trust Your Eyes to the Bloodthirsty Public

Ah shit. What am I pissed off at this week? Well, I've been busy. That means not too much CNN or bitching at Fox. (Except that one time I walked in on my mom watching it. *shivers*) I do have some things that caused my skin to crawl however. So bear with me in case this doesn't affect you at some points. First, a follow-up on the balloon thing from last week. Don't know the full details but apparently the whole thing might of been a hoax and -blah blah blah blah. When even Joy Behar gets a headache from a story being drug out for too long, Ive long since considered shoving chopsticks in my ears. The human race is a piece of shit as a whole and sometimes you can find as many as thirty bottom feeders in one area. And its not that humans woke up one day and became despicable like some would like to think. No, we've always been sacks of shit. We've only become bigger sacks of shit. We've gotten better at it for fuck'ssake. That of course was all just a build-up to something I noticed during the half-hour I actually got to sit and watch CNN last night. 1. Not only do I get pissed at little shit, but something as big as say, kidnapping a little girl, killing her, and then dumping her body in a dumpster? Just kinda sickening. In a half hour all I heard was about two girls roughly the same age and both under 10 being found dead : One found in the woods and the other, as I said, in a dumpster. Then as I said, there's the smaller things like the "Make money posting links on Google" scam. It's actually really convincing til you talk to someone who actually fell for it. They draw you in like most do, promising 5,000-8,000 a month from doing something simple a few hours a day. All they ask is about $2 to send you some kit and you're good to go, right? Wrong, 'cause people that have actually fallen for this ended up noticing $70+ going missing from their banks more than a few times. Not to mention that a closer look at the site where you sign up for this reveals a disclaimer that the people responsible for it are in no way affiliated with Google. That's the stuff that makes me wanna punch people in the face or worse. Warning : That's all I have on a large scale. The following ranting is things that angered me but may not necessarily push your buttons. First up is something fresh on my mind, as I watched it only two nights ago. X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Ya see? I'm a Marvel comic book fan. I didnt really care about the movie aside from the fact that it would be my favorite Marvel character's first ever appearance in the main stream media. Or so I thought. Deadpool. Wade Wilson. The Merc with a Mouth. I was happy in the beginning of the movie as Ryan Reynolds did a decent job getting Deadpool's sense of humor across, albeit in a slightly light manner. But I held steady, sure that once he went through the experiments he'd be the Deadpool I know and love reading. Wrong. Why? First off, they sewed his mouth shut! Cause that's so cool, ya know? Not to mention they gave him powers he doesn't have in the comics. In the comics he only ever had the healing factor. And why did he have that? He had cancer, and the healing factor was specifically created to counteract that cancer. The healing factor is what's supposed to make Deadpool crazy and forgetful. The Deadpool fans love. But no, they gave him adamantium swords that come out of his wrists, Cyclops's optic laser powers, Spectre's telporting powers, and a healing factor. The teleporting I could have dealt with because it's always been part of Deadpool's "thing" to have some type of device that let him teleport. But a silent, over-powered monstrosity? No sir. Dammit...lost the other point I wanted to make. It happens alot doesn't it? Ah, well. In closing someone should do something about the fact that I cant find a legitimate download for a Metro Riots album. Good music. I mean, Ive heard of underground bands from the UK, but this is ridiculous.